Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
