idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
