She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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