Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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