if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
