in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
