The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
