I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Randomize