Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
