This girl is more easily done than said...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
