I'm going to jail i love you
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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