yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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