Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Randomize
