so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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