I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
