sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
