he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
