Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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