There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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