pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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