I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
