Small penises have feelings too.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
