i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
