just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
