If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
