That's when you crack a 10am beer
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
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this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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