just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
