Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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