yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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