youre lurking in front of me
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
