I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
