bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
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I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
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Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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