...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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