I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
