so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just saw a hot homeless man
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize