we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
