Plan B is the new Plan A
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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