im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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