I heard we made out
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
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just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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