Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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