We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
