i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
