Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Girls should come with a carfax report
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
