weddingsv make me drug and hornr
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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