Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
