Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I touched a dick in church today
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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