If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You're like the curious george of whores
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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