my room smells like sperm. sweet.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
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remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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