I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Is it because I queefed?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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