I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
