Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
