Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
