In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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