I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize