My nipple is on Facebook.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
