Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
FUCK WHALES
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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