Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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