There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
