is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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