I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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