The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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