I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Alive.
So much puke
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
