u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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