____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
