Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
