the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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