I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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