i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
